[Column] In Lebanon, Israel's confused goals wreak destruction

Reem Haddad, contributing writer, is a Lebanese mother with two children, and a former reporter for Lebanese newspaper The Daily Star

The 48 hours are almost up. And I cringe to see what will happen next. The Israelis have announced that they will give civilians in the southern villages of Lebanon 48 hours to evacuate and then… And then what? I shudder, thinking of what is ahead. There will be no immediate ceasefire, we have been told. Neither the U.S. nor the U.N. Security Council has ordered it. In short, we have been abandoned.

More than 800 people have been killed, more than 700,000 people displaced, thousands of homes destroyed, much of our infrastructure obliterated. But that is apparently not enough for the Israelis. They have more in mind, it seems. They want to destroy Hezbollah. I am confused as to how they can possibly destroy a movement made up of over half of Lebanon's population. A movement, ironically, created as a direct result of Israel invading Lebanon in 1982. Back then, it was basically a group of Muslim Shiite farmers who wanted to regain their land. And so they formed a guerrilla movement to combat the Israelis. They succeeded. In May 2000, Israel withdrew from Lebanese occupied land. The popularity of Hezbollah grew immensely. Where the Lebanese government failed the Shiite population, they stepped in. In time, Hezbollah provided hospitals, schools, and various social institutions. Men joined Hezbollah. Pregnant women dreamed of giving birth to boys who would join Hezbollah and children were raised with a picture of Hezbollah general secretary, Hassan Nasrralla, in their homes.

We are talking about thousands and thousands of Hezbollah members and supporters. So Mr. Olmert, how do you plan to destroy Hezbollah? Kill every Shiite man, woman, and child? Judging by the number of civilians you have killed, this seems to be your misguided plan.

We have little choice but to sit and watch. And as I sit in my mountain refuge, I watch in shock as starving and dehydrated refugees make their way out of the besieged villages. Hundreds of rotting bodies have been left along the roads and under destroyed buildings.

Some supplies are short, but in general food is still readily available in the mountains. But stress levels are high, and when my little children refused to eat their eggs the other morning, I admit I rather lost my temper. All I could see in my mind were starving people and dead children.

"You have to eat your eggs," I yelled at their confused faces. "You have to fill your tummies. I don't know how long I can provide you with such good food."

I have this urge to keep feeding them. My stressed mind wants to fatten them up while supplies last.

Yasmine and Alexander looked at me hurt and puzzled. "Don't you love us, mommy?" asked Yasmine timidly.

I felt ashamed. I wanted to explain, and say to her, "I love you so much that I'm trying to protect you from the atrocities of war all around you." Instead, I hold them close to me and apologize.

You win, Israel. Maybe you can't get to Hezbollah. But you certainly have won the psychological war on the rest of us.

We are petrified. I hope this thought alone will bring you enough comfort to agree to a ceasefire.